Years ago, we had a student who had a strangely shaped rash on her face.  It looked like something had splattered on her cheek – it was red and raised and she complained that it was itchy.

An admin asked her what she had gotten on herself, as it looked like some sort of contact-dermatitis.  The student also had a medical note and a stash of Benadryl in the nurse’s office, just in case it was needed. That’s when the color of the rest of her face turned 10 shades of red.

Long story short: the student had cut class and met up with her boyfriend in one of the lesser frequented bathroom where she performed oral sex on her guy. Everything was fine until he unexpectedly ejaculated and she pulled away from him, resulting in a bit of ejaculate spray onto her face. Before this event, she had only ever had standard intercourse with the boy and had never had skin contact with ejaculate before.

I called her mom and explained that girl had come into contact with “something” resulting in a rash, and would she please pick up her student to take her to the doctor. When mom arrived, she started asking the same questions I’d asked – at that point, I asked the girl to step out for a moment… no girl should have to be in the room when her mother gets news like this! Mom was understandably shocked and upset and then starting laughing – she was a little pleased that her daughter got caught the first time she engaged in sexual activity at school and hoped that she would learn her lesson.

Mom checked in with me the next day to confirm our suspicions: her daughter was, in fact, allergic to something in the seminal fluid. The bummer was that the rash didn’t go away for a few days, and kids were asking questions. She chose to tell students that she got squirted by some hot pepper juice and was allergic to it.

Hot pepper, indeed.